We were designed to experience a perfect love. In this imperfect world, we learned to adapt to our circumstances as a result of feeling fear. Fear causes alienation from others. In the presence of love, children can safely be aware of their feelings when they have healthy bonding and communication. They experience significance and have no reason to abandon who they really are.
What we feel, think and choose in our minds, will determine which part of us will grow; our ego part or our spiritual essence of self. The bridge between these two parts is our soul, that chooses what part of us we give attention to. Fear may cause our outward protective self, (the ego) to go into survival mode, so it may feel natural to abandon our true essence so we become suitable to those we want to impress or "fear." In the process we disconnect from our own heart, just to survive.
As children we were like sponges absorbing "reality" as it felt and appeared to us. We learned to adapt by acting in a way that got us what we wanted or to avoid punishment. Our developing minds learned to compare, compete, evaluate our surroundings and reject ideas that weren't helpful to us. We didn't always have the words or received encouragement to explain or identify our feelings, but our responses and beliefs were still recorded in the deeper parts of our subconscious minds. Some of those unspoken needs still motivate us as adults. It's the cry of our soul to become free from fear and be treasured by someone meaningful to us.
Even those with a healthier upbringing, who may have had training to "success" may still lose who they are on the way to striving to the top. Healthy attachments in every stage of life keeps us connected to who we really are and what our purpose is.
In an ego-driven world, it's easy to become defined by what we do than by who we are. Behavior modification only goes so far. Who we are was meant to be discovered through relationship with a love that's perfect.
So what is at the root of your decisions? Is it possible that fear still motivates your choices and behaviors? How can you know the difference between ego self and essence self?
One sign is when your heart might say one thing one day and your head says something different on another day. What's going on inside that causes this volatility? The reality is that we are triune beings. We are a spirit, we have a soul and live in a body. Our head rules one day, our heart another, and our body (and brain) eventually shows sign of imbalance. Somethings out of order that is meant to be compatible with each part. Perhaps it's time to take care of the abandoned parts of our core self.
The parts that are ego dominant are fear led. The parts that are heart dominant are love led. Parts that need to finish maturing are those that were neglected in life. They need the fostering that a counselor, coach or wise mentor can give.
You are worthy of examining whether fear or love is part of your foundation. I'd love the opportunity to help you find a path that leads to true life, love and authentic identity. For an appointment, visit http://www.recoveredessence.com/
Copyright 2017 Christine Wilson
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